Fluffy Singularity

When I got back from my haircut that black kitty that I see around all the time was sitting on the sidewalk looking at me. Suddenly bold as can be, he walked up to me meowing and even jumped up to put his paws on my leg. I considered feeding him (which I assume is what he wanted) but since I think he belongs to one of the neighbors I decided against it. He looks pretty well fed anyway, and is way too friendly for a stray.

My sister used to feed stray cats as part of a plan to convince my mother to let her have one. This of course was a lost cause as my mother thinks they are "sneaky". Which they are. But my sister was allowed to feed them outside if we had any leftovers, and usually named them after whatever they ate first- which is why we had so many cats named "Hotdog"


In unrelated news, when I was out I saw a rusted out tow truck with "NOT FOR HIRE" scrawled drunkenly on the side in red paint. I wasn't sure which was more startling, that someone would drive around in a tow truck that didn't tow or that they actually had enough people ask them for a tow that they had to paint a note on the side. It didn't look like it could run without falling apart, let alone pull another vehicle.

Current Mood: excited

Current Mood: calm

I know I am completely late to this party, but The Room... OMG. Finally, something worse than Flatliners. There are some 5-star terrible movies that I love to see over and over (The Forbidden Zone and The Doom Generation, for example) but this was completely unwatchable. At least now I know what would have happened if Ed Wood had been raised on Soap Operas. And had hated women instead of dressing like them.

And now, it is time for a breakdown some linkage.


Please stop making me point you to Girls Are Pretty, just go and read it and love it. Could you imagine a whole book written like this? Exhausting.


Why Would You Knit That is pretty amusing in general and it does let me feel like I might one day try knitting again. I will say that September's entries were better than October's, especially this trip down 80's nightmare lane.


It has been a while since I've seen the original, but I think this version of John Carpenter's The Thing as done by G.I. Joe dolls captures it pretty well considering.


Didn't enjoy any of these? Welcome to being part of the 38%

Current Mood: tired

Current Mood: sleepy

The evening out with coworkers went pretty well, all things considered. And as a bonus- free food. So I ordered lobster, scallops and octopus. I love eating sea creatures.


Today was our Flu Clinic and I managed to convince 37 people to get vaccinated against the seasonal flu. I think it is fairly sad that I didn't break 40 but a lot of people are out of the office and several have already had the seasonal flu shot, and a surprising number are too scared and/or paranoid to get a flu shot. In the long run, I'm not sure how much it matters since there are very few cases of seasonal flu being reported so far, but I would have felt remiss if we hadn't done anything.

I was also surprised by the strength of conviction many people have against flu shots and how willing they were to tell me they thought it was all a conspiracy run by the pharmaceutical companies. On one hand, I agree that BigPharma doesn't have our best interests at heart (where is the profit in that?), but on the other hand I have a hard time even considering a position espoused by Louis Farrakhan. No really. Next you're going to tell me that I really should take advice on childhood vaccinations from a Playboy model.

It is unlikely, but I'm going to blame my lassitude and apathy today on the time change. I didn't want to go to bed last night at all but this morning I could barely drag my carcass to the shower and I've been even more unresponsive to stimuli than usual. Even for a Monday.





I hope to get some quality sleep tonight (without the bourbon) because tomorrow is going to be another one of "those" days. I have 4 meetings scheduled (and counting), a doctor's visit, and then I get to go out with my coworkers for dinner that night.


I'd rather scrub the toilet than any of that, but I don't seem to have gotten a vote.



PS- I had another one of those dreams where there are bugs and they sting my hands and I can feel them stinging my hands and it HURTS. Is this just me sleeping on my hands until they get that pins and needles feeling or is someone trying to tell me something? Something bug related?

Current Mood: exhausted

Finally caught up on 30 Rock! As much I love this show, I can't help but feel that having Jeff Dunham as a guest star has got be a defining example of a shark jump, yeah? I mean, Jeff Dunham? Why, Tina, why? Even Betty White couldn't wash it away completely. I'm still going to watch, but if it starts to suck- you read it here first.


I was also getting a little disappointed with Glee for a minute there, but I think I'm over it now. Kurt and Mercedes get my vote for the cutest couple of 2009 and I'm eagerly awaiting some less awkwardly stereotypical moments from them both. Schue and Emma's plot line still irritates me and I don't know if I'll ever get over Emma having it out with Mrs. Schue the way she did. And why haven't they offered "I Could Have Danced All Night" on iTunes?


As for Flashfoward, I had originally decided not to watch it since I wasn't impressed with the book. Mom said it seemed like the kind of nonsense I liked, so I figured it was probably only "loosely-based" and I could give it a try. Except that I waited a week too long, and the first episode is no longer available on hulu or abc.com. Looks like I'll have to wait for NetFlix before I can get disgusted with a Lost-knockoff.


V comes out on Tuesday! I won't be here to watch it, but Craigtastic said he would record it for me. It is times like these I realize how far behind the curve I really am, we're going to have to tape it. Using a VCR. I know! I've been avoiding reading too much about it since I want to be surprised, but I have picked up the following from the bits of trailers: Juliet is a scientist but an "action scientist" that runs about punching people and then goes back to the lab to analyze the skin cells that rubbed off on her knuckles. She's the smartest person in the room and she can kick. your. ass. So basically, just like she was on the island. Oh, and what's-his-name from 4400 plays a priest, which is cool. He's not my type, but if he was my type I'd totally think he was hot and want to do him.

All of this is of course, just a distraction from waiting for Lost to get back on the air. Which may be as soon as January 27th. I've gotten confirmation that Jules is gone but not forgotten and I'll just have to suck it up and push on through. Besides, I've wasted five years waiting for the finale, it is too late to quit now.

Current Mood: apathetic

This weekend I made it late to our world building pre-session for the RPG (but I got a lovely tour of "The Wire"-y sections of Balmer, so total loss) and got a quick guide to the various sections of the map. When they indicated where the "frozen north" was, I asked if that is where the Nordic types lived. You know, so they can get their Vitamin D. Then I realized- I just had walked into the room and asked "Where the white women at?"





In other news, I just remembered today that Halloween is on Saturday and I haven't put up any decorations or bought any candy. I really don't know how many kids to expect or if they would appreciate me dressing up to answer the door. But since we have a house, I need to be a responsible homeowner and do something.

Current Mood: annoyed

"I instinctively feel," said the creature, urgently, "that I need to be beautiful. Am I?"

Current Mood: crushed

Things at work got crazy busy again, to the extent that I don't even know if I can still call what happened a few weeks ago as "busy". I'm not so much worried by the fact that I don't have time to get all my work done even if I continue working long hours. It is more that I am terrified by the fact that I don't even have the time to think about what I'm not getting done and making plans to deal with the problems that causes. I'm starting to feel like I'm in one of those work spirals where things get tighter and tighter and....

Personally, life has been rather wonderful. Two weekends ago Craigtastic and I went down to the beach to visit my mom and sis and couldn't have asked for a nicer time. Our beach day was warm and sunny without being hot, and since it was not only off season but in the middle of the week there was hardly anyone there. We spent some time looking at pictures of curtains and talking about curtains and shopping for fabric, so I think we're going to end up with something really beautiful when it is all done. My sister made us a fantastic wreath for our front door done all in fall colours. Just lovely.

Last weekend was the housewarming and I can't even begin to describe how wonderful it was to have so many people show up to celebrate our houseness. We even got out of town visitors to stay with us over the weekend- one of the reasons we wanted to buy a house in the first place.

So now that we have the house together (not that there isn't a lot of work to do, but none of it is super urgent) and we've had the company and gone on vacation, I hope things can return to normal for a while. Or at least until Thanksgiving. I have a lot to be thankful for this year, including my mother coming up to spend a week with us over the holiday.

Hopefully I can start finding those moments to update here again, because I do miss it. And all of you.

I don't miss the Happy Whatever Day thing though, so I'm declaring that dead as of now. Subject will be haphazard, if at all.

Current Mood: content

Slept turrible, just turrible last night. Ended up waking up at about 4 and playing more Yu-Gi. I beat the game, but the plot was so unexpectedly crammed in and nonsensical that I have a really hard time feeling like I won anything. At one point my character met one of his friends and they ask him "How'd you like the city?" I thought my character would have replied

"Well, I was kidnapped and gassed by a megalomaniac that created me and four clones in a lab with the purpose of branding us and training us as duelists so that we could summon a crimson dragon from beyond the stars. It didn't work."

But I guess that might have been confusing. Craig sez it is a typical Yu-Gi plot.





In unrelated news, I had lunch with my coworkers today (at my suggestion no less) and I learned that out of all of us 50% had been arrested, but only 25% convicted. The more you know.

Current Mood: cynical

I was doing really good on posting for a while there, but then "real life" took over. Work had been getting steadily busier and busier, but then this project just consumed my waking hours. It isn't finished (it will never be finished) but I'm no longer involved, so I can breathe again. For now.

Awesome weekends didn't help with keeping up with things either. Two weekends ago was the Ren Faire/Return of Queen Jeffriana de Raleigh and the much anticipated visit of Shelissa. It was Irish weekend and I consumed more beer in public than I have in a long, long time. It was so nice to meet with everyone, I feel like I haven't seen my friends in forever.

Last weekend was SPX and although I bought fewer books this year than last year, I bought more posters and I got to meet everyone I was hoping to meet. I'm especially glad I got John Campbell's new book and David Malki!'s Fiction Generator Poster and Steve Wolfhard's Cat Rackham poster. I even especially gladder for the after-party late lunch and the nap I got to take after that.

In unrelated news, I was eating chicken tenders for lunch today and I was looking in my odds-and-ends drawer for some of the Chic-Fil-A Honey Roasted BBQ that I know I put in there yesterday and I found a packet of mayonnaise. Is there a word for when you find old food and you look at it and you try to remember when you put it in there, and is it still good and should you eat it? On one hand, it is one of those little foil packets so it probably good forever right? And plus, I didn't know how old it was when I first got it. Since I have no idea how old anything really is when I eat it. And I'll never eat condiments from foil packets again.

Current Mood: pessimistic

Great weekend, got the living room pretty much in order and ready for a couch delivery. Things are really falling into place and are looking good. The only down part of Saturday was the Amish market. They moved from their old craptacular location in Burtonsville to one in Laurel that looks huge and clean and wonderful. I say "looks" because the parking lot was so crowded we couldn't even get to the light where we'd turn to wait in line for a park to magically appear. Unreal. We'll just have to try and get up early next time.


Decided that I deserved a break on Sunday and went to the local boardgame group meet up. The theme was dice games, so we played Farkle (easy and fun), Yahtzee (flashbacks to childhood) and Pass the Pigs. Farkle must have primed the pump, because after hearing "I hope I score soon!" and "I got farkled!" by the time we got to Pass the Pigs and someone said "It isn't that bad unless the pigs touch" I couldn't help but laugh inappropriately. (Warning: YTMND link)

The real highlight was playing Dominion I could easily get obsessed with this game and hope we play it again next time. Not only was it fun, but it was complex without being hard to understand and it kept things moving right along.

I didn't actually watch Obama's speech on health care reform last night (I was afraid it would interfere with me seeing Glee), but I did read it online. Then I made this wordle thing:





When I was in Debate in High School the topic was health care, so I spent a year of my life researching and yelling at people on this very thing. As it is now, I can barely stand to have a conversation with someone without shaking with rage if health care reform comes up.

Which makes working in Human Resources "interesting" to say the least. Since I got into this industry, there has never been a year where the costs of providing benefits to our employees hasn't gone up while the quality of the coverage has gone down. Obama says that health insurance premiums have increased at three times the rate of salaries. I say that is a highly conservative estimate.

And... I'm starting to get angry again, so that is all for now.

Current Mood: aggravated

I'm not a Kanye fan, but Glee's version of Golddigger just made me Flip. My. Wig.




Glee's second installment did not fail to deliver, balancing the humor and the pathos so perfectly. This one was all about touch, from the chalk scene to the bathtub to the balloons to the star-crossed ill-fated kiss that will send ripples and drama through the whole first season, if not beyond.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it but with Jesus and balloons paired twice in the course of the hour I couldn't help but remember Nathan Lane's speech in Jeffrey.

""Have you ever been to a picnic? And someone blows up a balloon, and everyone starts tossing it around, and it's always just about to touch the ground, but someone always gets there just in time to tap it back up? That balloon, that's God, the very best in all of us, the kindness, the heavy petting, Funny Girl! ...Evil bores me. It's just one note. It doesn't sing! Oh, of course life sucks! It always will. So why not make the most of it?"

Yeah, I'm crushing way too hard on Glee for the networks not to cancel it. And YES, I'm a geek for crushing as hard as I am. But I'm going to make the most of it.

Has it really been almost a week since I posted?

Wednesday was a pretty normal day at work, or at least I'm thinking it must have been since I don't remember anything about it specifically. Thursday I had a HRIS information/networking opportunity in VA. It was pretty stupid, but overall I'm glad I attended. Except for the part about trying to get home from VA on 495. I'm not sure if it was the holiday weekend traffic starting early or just the general crappiness of VA traffic, but even at 2pm it was ridiculous beyond all reason.

After I got home (finally) Craig and I went over to the house to paint the basement. We had agreed on grey and although I was skeptical up through the moment we started, now that it is done I think it looks really classy and I'm very pleased. Friday was our last day at the old apartment and we made about 10 million trips back and forth carrying anything that would fit in our cars that wasn't books.

The move on Saturday went very well, even if I wasn't very impressed with the movers themselves. Nothing was damaged and they took very good care of our belongs, even the really cheap crap. I'm not sure which was more embarrassing, how filthy everything was or what I found under the guest room's bed (use your imagination).

Since then we've done a lot of work to get things together and so far, I think it looks pretty terrific. The kitchen is pretty much done and the other rooms are progressing nicely. Even better, the house already feels comfortable and homey and I just love being here.

Looking forward to our first guests in a couple of weeks!

Current Mood: satisfied

It is such beautiful weather outside, I think I'm going to cry. It finally stopped being so hot and humid! There is a nice cool breeze but it is still warm in the sun. This is the kind of weather that makes me want to open all the windows and sleep naked.

So I will. Viewing will be held on my neighbor's balcony. Binoculars are available for a modest fee and remember, the 9 o'clock show is completely different from the 7 o'clock show.

Current Mood: rejuvenated

I was pretty bummed when I heard about Disney buying Marvel, because if there is one heartless corporation that can grind the awesome out of anything it is Disney. But then I remembered... I stopped caring about Marvel a couple of weeks ago when I found out that She-Hulk's book had been canceled. Again. And canceled with a stupid pun even. I know, I'm late to the punch as always, but I'm not plugged into the comic book blogosphere and I don't buy the books- I wait for the graphic novels. And then find out that the "new" She-Hulk is some hooker named Lyra. Infinite sadness. Bring back Jennifer!





But I was browsing the intrawebs today and someone hit upon the most chilling aspect of the whole buyout.

"Disney buying Marvel could only mean one thing. Miley Cyrus staring in a Dazzler movie."

NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!

Current Mood: discontent

So yah, the closing went great! The title guy was about 79% cooler than I thought he would be, and the other realtor was pretty much exactly as *special* I had suspected. I really do lurve our realtor, after it was over she gave us a sack of basil, rosemary, thyme and tomatoes from her garden. We gave her a gift basket of snacks from Trader Joe's because I read on teh intrawebs that agents never take the time to eat properly and if you give them snacks you might just save their lives. And Trader Joe's has some neat stuff.

In related news, that means the house is now officially ours. The current owners are leasing it for this week to finish moving out, so we'll actually get the keys on Sunday. And then move next weekend. We have soooo many boxes to pack, I get all weak just thinking about it.

Also in related news, I am now officially only three degrees of separation from Elizabeth Mitchell. Turns out we bought the house from a guy whose brother is Brian K. Vaughan, the mastermind behind Y: The Last Man. This is important because he is also a writer on Lost. Getting closer every day Jules!

Current Mood: content

Oh no, kittens!



We close on the house tomorrow. Tomorrow. We. Close. On. The. House. You know, presuming there are no unforeseen problems. And you know what happens when you presume, you press you against me and... where was I going with this?

It isn't that I'm nervous or worried, I'm just ready to stop waiting for this to be over. Which apparently it never will be, since we're going to own a house.


In unrelated news, ( I was talking to someone about this just recently )

Current Mood: enjoying work

This article on fat seats really grinds my gears.

To start with, it opens with "We all know what it's like to have a fat person squeezing themselves into a small seat next to us on public transport." Yeah, you know what I hate even more than that? Skinny people that see me enter a public form of transportation and then inwardly cringe because they might have to sit with my thigh fat squoozing out under the armrest into their leg zone. If you don't like strangers being so close to you in public maybe you should buy a car. Or walk. Skinny people like walking, right?


In unrelated news, I love this picture:

Current Mood: annoyed

Extremities: I think I rented this because Ms. Fawcett recently left us and honestly, she was unbelievably good. The story itself has some problems, but I like plays turned into movies and I'm prepared to be forgiving up to a point. I would have loved to see what a female director did with this or even to just get a female's perspective, but it is not the kind of movie I'd ever recommend to a woman. Worth it just for Farrah's performance and those fabulous 80's outfits. 3 Chekov's Bug Sprays out of 5.


Doubt: I wish I had taken the time to re-read the play again first, but I was so excited to finally see it that I jumped right in. To say I was impressed would be an understatement. The acting, the cinematography, the way they expanded the narrow environs of the play into a full, lush movie and placed it in a time and place. Everything really. 4.5 Blind Nuns out of 5.


Chinatown: I don't care of Roman Polanski is a raging pervert, he can direct the hell out of a movie. It probably doesn't hurt that you have Faye Dunaway and Jack Nicholson to work with either. Movies like this and Brick make me want to fall in love with film noir. 4.5 Bifocals out of 5.



Zach Galifianakis- Live at the Purple Onion: Honestly, it wasn't as funny as I was hoping but I think a big part of that can be blamed on the editing. Some parts of it kept me rolling ("What was it that Noam Chomsky said....") and his friend Joe was kinda cute. Okey, more than kinda. 3 Hobo Looking Comedians out of 5.

Current Mood: exhausted

Craigtastic fell in love with Lingonberry during our last trip to Ikea, so I decided to make him Pork Chops with Lingonberry Sauce using some of the jelly he bought.

( Recipe behind the cut )

I didn't have apple cider, so I used rice wine vinegar but it came out delicious, if I do say so myself.


In unrelated news, we saw our favourite cashier at the grocery store today. It turns out she's been in the hospital and has been facing a lot of personal challenges. She wants to get us something for a housewarming gift which makes me feel like I want to get her a "Get Well/Sorry Your Life Has Been So Shitty Lately" gift. I'm not sure what that is yet, but I'd like to do something because she really is an amazing person.

Current Mood: drunk

If you're not already reading thingpart's journal, you totally should be. First off, you get quality comics like:





Secondly, thingpart felted a NES controller that one could put a handheld game device in which is just crazy amazing.


In other news, I have mixed feelings about Emails from an @sshole's website. On one hand, the world is full of so much hate and bitter ugliness that I really don't feel good supporting someone that spews such caustic anger through the internet. On the other hand this entry made me laugh so hard I almost had a heart attack. So weigh it.

Current Mood: busy

Finally updated Librarything and Goodreads


Crystal Ship edited by Robert Silverberg (1976): The novella is a difficult form- neither a long short story or a short novel. I'm not sure that the offerings in this collection count exactly, but Silverberg liked them enough to stamp his name on it and it is early science-fiction from women, so whatever. The titular first choice was poetic, if ultimately unsatisfying; the second choice was interesting but would have been better served by a full expansion to novel length; the last was highly disappointing and pointless, especially coming from Vonda McIntyre. Overall, worth a read.


Eye of the Sun by Mike Conner (1988): First time I tried to read this, it gave me nightmares so bad I had to stop. And I'm not even sure why, since it isn't a horror novel. Having completed it, finally, I'll have to say- I'm not impressed. Skip.


Idlewild by Nick Sagan (2008): First in the series, but the second that I've read. I think I would have enjoyed this individual novel more if I didn't know the "big reveal" ahead of time, but it seemed so obvious from the way it was written that I have my doubts it would have been much of a surprise. Otherwise, the book was even more emo and overwrought than the sequel, so if I had read it first I might not have continued. Still looking forward to the final volume.


The Pinhoe Egg by Diana Wynne Jones (2006): Much better than the last Jones I read, but still only okey. The classic themes are all there, and overall it was amusing but I really missed the Cat of the previous novels. And what the heck happened to Janet? I'll stick to the classic Chrestomancis.


Re-Reads

The Well of Lost Plots by Jasper Fforde

Something Rotten by Jasper Fforde

The Missing Persons League by Frank Bonham

Current Mood: pessimistic

I enjoyed the heck out of Neill Cameron's A-Z of Awesomeness






So if you haven't had enough Uhura and Ultraman on a Unicorn Underwater in your life, now is your chance.



In unrelated news, did I mention that our move date is September 5th? Did I mention that that is like three weeks away? Did I mention we don't have near enough boxes?

Current Mood: hungry

Wikipedia experiment: How much of this article can you read before you yawn? Bonus points if you read the whole thing and count the number of times you yawn. (9 here)


In unrelated news, had a great weekend. We did some window shopping on Friday and although I still don't know exactly what sort of rug we're going to put in the living room I now have a better idea of what is available. Saturday we looked at paint, and picked what I think it going to be a pretty sweet combo for the basement. Still haven't found anything bathroom stuff for the front bathroom but I'm sure something will come up.


In even more unrelated news, you should check out Minus a disturbing and charming comic about a girl with TOTAL. REALITY. CONTROL. Two of my favourites can be found here and here.

Current Mood: cynical

Check out this awesome link to a NY Times Article on How Different Groups Lie About How They Spend Their Day. I'm calling BS on the fact that the average is only 54 secs a day on "Personal or Private Activities" which includes sex. 54 secs? Not since Jr. High. Unless some people misread the instructions and put it under "Other Leisure" or "Socializing"


In related news, I think I need one of these:

Current Mood: chipper

I'm considering a new feature for my LJ. Instead of just reviewing movies I have seen after I've watched them, I'm also going to review movies I'm not going to see and plan on never watching.

First up, A Perfect Getaway. According to the trailers, there is a big twist, so I'm going to guess that Milla J is going to be the multipass-tastic killer. As for her accomplice, I'm voting for the director. He already gave us Pitch Black/Chronicles of Riddick and is doomed to hell, what is one more sin on his soul? Also, why are they screening Lost: The Movie before the final season even airs? Mysterious island (which is Hawaii), unrealistically hot couples running around getting shot at, no one knows who the killer is, there is a big twisty confusing plot... I bet we even have flashbacks.


To no one's surprise, G.I. Joe is also on my pass list and not just because the director is the same genius that brought us Van Helsing. The trailer has everything really... forehead attacks, bimbos in tight suits, and Kid Rock providing musical accompaniment. And how can you make a G. I. Joe movie without Shipwreck or Snow Job? Think about that. Snow. Job. Portmanteau of Snowball and Blowjob? DUH. Just remember kids, caring. Caring is the other half.


Reasons I may not keep doing this include not really needing more hate in my life and also the hypocrisy. I haven't even seen these movies, and I'm ragging on them. How is that any different from Craigtastic saying he doesn't want to eat Pork Chops with Mushroom Sauce or vegetable salad with fruit in it? You have to eat it first before you decide you hate it.

Current Mood: full

Neat freak? - I clean the house once a week whether it needs it or not.

Gym bunny? - I went to a gym once or twice. You know, to use the sauna.

Computer geek? - Oh no, I hate computers. It is just that is where the internet lives.

Sci-fi geek? - Absolutely.

Comic book geek? - Yes! "Who is your favourite X-Man?" "Dazzler." "What?"

Fabulous cook? - I can follow a recipe and people will occasionally ask me to cook something special for them. Otherwise, no.

Showtunes? - Only the ones that don't suck.

Opera? - That's like, the theme from Tetris?

Midler? - I really liked Big Business if that is what you mean.

Streisand? - Mecha Streisand?

Cher? - I think she's funny, sure. Oh, you meant as a singer. Pass.

Madonna? - 80's Madonna, sure. Up to about Cherish I like her just fine. Vogue is passable. Everything else *gag noise*

Pull off drag in public? - I'm too pretty to be a woman.

Pull off pants in public? - Mine or someone else's?

Able to quote fabulous movies? - If I'm quoting it, it is fabulous.

Witty repartee? - Oh, I'm not witty. I just deliver incisive observations humorously phrased with impeccable timing.

Fashion-forward? - Is that where you make sure your shirt isn't on backwards? Then yes, I do that every day.

Well-groomed? - I prefer the "lived in" look.

Perfect hair? - What I have left is perfect. I love each and every strand. Which is probably why it will leave me too. *sobs uncontrollably*

Good dancer? - I enjoy dancing, so yes.

Disco bunny? - I thought it was disco duck.

Bathhouse buddy? - Do they even still have bathhouses or does everyone just suck cock in the bathroom at Sears now?

Wine connoisseur? - I like my wine like I like my men. Rich, full bodied, and given out free by our Sales Department as an end of the year thank you gift.

Fine dining connoisseur? - Just because I'm as big as a house doesn't mean I don't appreciate fine dining. Especially if you put cheese on top.

Green thumb? - Oh right. Plants need water.

Judgmental queen? - I'm only judgmental because you're so sucky.

Buy Perfect gift for perfect occasion? - Look, I'm sorry. Just smile and return it later. That is why I included the receipt. Ungrateful whore.

Interior decorating? - My home style is at the intersection of cheap and comfortable.

Protest queen? - What's wrong with Queen Elizabeth? Sure, her hats look funny but....

Sew/knit? - I was learning to knit, but I think I gave up. Crafting is hard!

Dated Leigh Chapman? - This guy? No, but I'm not saying I would have turned down a coffee invite either.

Current Mood: indifferent

I was reading this Girls Are Pretty entry called You Switched Bodies with Another Zombie and it got me thinking about a great idea for a zombie-combie! *cough* I mean, comedy!

It's a take off on Freaky Friday involving a shallow, apathetic "hero" who is switched with a brain eating metaphor for consumerism. So half the movie you get this traumatized human trapped within rotting flesh trying to escape zombie world, giving us ground level insight into the zompocalypse. Of course, they escape only to get killed by harmans. The other half is a dark comedy about a teenager that is really a cannibalistic monster. Freed from the constant hunger of zombism, it is able to experience life on the other side again. Until it just decides to eat everyone.

I know, best movie idea evar!


In unrelated news, someone needs a storage solution. Or Donkey of Holding.

Current Mood: bored

Current Mood: sleepy

*REC: This got some good reviews and has been called a horror movie lover's horror movie, but great googlymoogly was it boring. When the movie is only 80 minutes long and you're constantly wondering if it is over yet... not a good sign. Trendy shaky cam is nauseating at best and at no point did I feel like it added to the action. There was some good threads that never really panned out here, (like the racism during a crisis). The last 10 minutes or so of the film were worth watching, but it took so long to get there that I can't recommend the rest. 2 Firemen out of 5.


Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince: At some point I guess I just have to admit to myself that I'm over Harry Potter and not just because Rowling is a hack. This movie tried to be too many things, horror, romantic/comedy, fantasy and just muddled them all. There are a few things I didn't understand: Why didn't they just film the thing in black and white? Or maybe the cinematographer is colourblind? Why did they need Helena Bonham Carter anyway? Couldn't they have just build a HBC-bot to gnash her teeth and be crazy? Such a waste of a fine talent. 2.5 Gay Wizards out of 5.


Wordplay: Enjoyed this quite a bit more than I expected. I'm not that into crossword puzzles myself, but this documentary did a good job of balancing the insider/technical aspects and the human element. 3 Across out of 5 Down


Grey Gardens: Make sure you watch the original documentary first to get the full effect of this HBO version. Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore pull some of their best performances ever (proving that Drew can do more than just fart out shallow romantic comedies all day). 4 Raccoons out of 5.


Valley of the Dolls: Maybe I just wasn't drunk enough, but this wasn't nearly as hysterically campy as I was hoping. Don't get me wrong, it was overwrought and ridiculous- just not as sensational as I had expected. 2 Gay Husbands out of 5.


Can't Hardly Wait: How did I miss this one for so long? This isn't the kind of teen comedy that changes the world, but it deserves a place in the High School Movie Hall of Fame. Also, now the jokes in Not Another Teen Movie make sense.

Current Mood: sympathetic

I tried to just enjoy it by calling it Horror Movie Kitchen or Disco Kitchen, but the flickering fluorescent in the apartment's kitchen has officially outlived its welcome and actually gave me a headache this morning. Keeping my fingers crossed that the maintenance crew will take care of it today.


In unrelated news, I got confirmation today that I really did solve my prescription problem and my medicine really is going to be shipped for delivery early next week. I know I shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch, but it still feels like a victory and I only had to yell at one person.


Also, Craig has been playing Final Fantasy 13 again, so this seemed appropriate to post here:






As far as I know, they haven't reached an agreement to bring back the cast of Futurama but are still shopping around for sound-a-likes. Otherwise known as "I doubt I'll watch the new season" a-likes.

Current Mood: peaceful

Hurley from Lost gets in the shower!


If you didn't like that, here's something you'll really hate- the trailer for the upcoming disasterama, 2012:



Leave her! Come back to Montana with me! What are you saying?

Current Mood: cheerful

Click on the pic for a link to the news.

Current Mood: busy

I'm digging Small Things Eating Big Things, but I am highly disappointed in the tiny number of kittens eating planets. Maybe it is just early days, but nothing of GalaCATus? Who I am sure exists!

The kitty eating a elephant helps to make up for it tho':






In related news, I also really enjoyed NPR's story about how Rapper Feuds are Like Politics. So if The Game is Iran and Jay-Z is the US, I guess Blackalicious is Djibouti.

Also, when The Game was a child and his mom took him shopping and they got separated, does that mean she...

Lost the Game?

Current Mood: indescribable

Spent a big part of the afternoon making the final edits to our Employee Handbook before it is reviewed by legal. I'm always tempted in these cases to include something like "in accordance with prophecy" or "by the power of Gray Skull" to the end of policy statements but I know our employment lawyer will spot it immediately and probably not be amused.


So for my own amusement, I fiddled with Escape the Red Giant, a little flash game where you try to escape from a red giant star that is blowing up. Deceptively simple, it gets more intriguing the more you play. There actually is a little strategy and style to it. Plus, you know. Faked Moon landing day and all.


Oh, and I'm putting this here because I don't want to forget to share it with Craig.





I knew he loved his Sega, I just didn't know he LOVED his Sega.

Current Mood: bored

Home inspection went very well, the inspector was very thorough. In fact, it took him almost 4 hours to comb over every square centimeter of the property and it isn't that big, really. I now feel like I know where everything is and how it operates and how to maintain it. This is a triumph for me as I'm not a technical/fix-it kind of guy. Plus if I ever forget he provided us with a novel sized report to which we can always refer. The only bad part is the current owners came home right as we were finishing and we had to nod and say "hi" to them. Awkward.


In related news, our Realtor gave us some fresh basil from her garden so I turned it into pesto. It wasn't spicy enough at first so I added some more garlic and then it was just way too garlicky. Which isn't terrible, I mean garlic is good for you but wow, that was a lot of garlic. She also gave us a zucchini and a squash, neither of which I will eat. Craig seems to think I am going to cook them for him, so I guess we will see what happens.


In unrelated news, I love my librarian friends:

Today is the company picnic, and I put my foot down. I. Am. Not. Going. It turns out this really was the wrong decision, as my veep was pretty disappointed that she wouldn't have 100% attendance in her department. Also, she doesn't want me to be isolated from the other employees, because we are a small HR department and they need to find me approachable and easy to relate to. *sigh* In related news, it is about 300 degrees in Maryland today with 9000% humidity and I am one of the few employees that isn't drinking beer and participating in competitive sports but I'm still leaving work early. So I think I'm winning.


In unrelated news, the other day I was cut off in traffic by someone with one of those "Choose Civility in Howard County" bumper stickers. At first the hypocrisy made me want to stab them in the eye, but then I started to wonder if maybe that cutting me off in traffic is Civility to them. I mean, they could have ran me off the road then pulled over, jumped out, and pistol whipped me to death. Maybe I got lucky. Everything is relative.


In even less related news, I've been getting these calls to my cell phone from some random Chinese people. At first I just let it go to voicemail (and saved them to listen to later) but I finally had to pick up the call and let them know I wasn't whomever they thought I was. I was going to say something about it being a Wong number, but I'm not sure if that is racist or not so I won't say it.

Current Mood: cheerful

Sunday we made an offer on the house we liked so much... and I only had half a panic attack when it came to sign the paperwork. I was pretty agitated the rest of Sunday. And Monday. And then yesterday, I got the word. The sellers had accepted our offer and didn't even negotiate on the money. Craig and I are the proud owners of our very first townhouse! Technically, it isn't over since we still have a lot of paperwork and and things to do and oh yeah, I guess I better start packing but we own a house! A house!


When I was still living in NC, I was never interested in home ownership since I wasn't planning in living in Raleigh for very much longer but the time was just so right and I know we've made the right decision. I couldn't imagine owning property with anyone other than Craigtastic.


Mom seems to be getting into this too, she's been emailing me decorating tips for a week now. Some of which are very cute and probably doable.

The house hunt has been going well, we've narrowed it down to either Nightmare House or this beauty:




I call the other property Nightmare House because not only was it a complete wreck inside but I've actually had a nightmare about it. Dreams about walking through houses, sometimes furnished, sometimes not, have been haunting me quite a bit lately but I can blame that on the fact that I have actually been walking through thousands of houses, sometimes furnished, sometimes not, and sometimes full of water damage.


In actual news, we're down to three choices now, I Love This House, Grandma's House and The House of Doors (in that order). We still have other properties to see but I don't think we're going to be apartment dwellers much longer.

This process has been both nerve wracking and exhilarating. I love looking through houses and other people's stuff and imagining how I could arrange furniture in a space and how a space could be decorated. I also love imagining my life in these new spaces, how'd we live, the parties we could have. It is the uncertainty of what will happen after we actually own the house that just eats at me. What if it turns out like that house in Poltergeist and just eats itself up?

Hamlet 2: I like her a little less in each movie I see her in, but Hamlet 2 was the best Catherine Keener since Being John Malkovich. Even if she was barely in the movie. Plenty of laugh out loud moments (Elizabeth Shue as Elizabeth Shue and the Gay Men's Chorus for example) even if the movie wasn't exactly hilarious. And I can always get behind the message of "Enthusiasm as a substitute for talent" because I desperately want that to be true. 3 Uptight Christians out of 5.


Lifeboat: I watched this mostly because they've been talking about Tallulah Bankhead on NPR and I wanted to see her in something and I knew I wouldn't go wrong with Hitchcock. I couldn't help but focus on this glittering beauty who slowly loses each piece of her material wealth mirroring how the group loses their morality. Amazing film, awesome enough to let me forgive the tremendous racism and if you knew how racist this movie is you'd realize just how amazing it must be. 4 Compasses out of 5.


Phoebe in Wonderland: Elle Fanning and Felicity Huffman give some delicious performances and I'm always a fan of Patricia Clarkson, but overall the movie never quite creates the sense of wonder I was hoping for. The only character that really rang true for me was the little gay theatre boy, the rest were about as thick as... a pack of cards. 2.5 Red Queens out of 5.


Happy-Go-Lucky: Unlike the critics, I didn't care for this one at all. I spent the whole movie waiting for something to happen it when it finally did, it was too tightly controlled and so underwhelmingly non-effecting on the main character that I felt cheated. The flamenco dancer and her first scene were the only appealing part of the film for me. 2 Driving Lessons out of 5.


Charade: Great music, good laughs, a nicely twisty turny little plot Grant and Hepburn verbally humping for two hours... what isn't to like? 4 Peppermint Flavoured Heroin Bricks out of 5.

Current Mood: excited

June Booklist

"Doubt was a luxury for species that did not live one meal away from starvation."

The Fifth Elephant by Terry Pratchett: The Watch novels are not my favourite (that would be the witch books) but this one was perfectly acceptable and ended rather well. I have a hard time seeing how this would appeal to a first time reader, but for one that is well versed in Discworld mythology it should work just fine. Individual scenes were interesting, but overall it was only average Pratchett... which is still pretty durn good.

How to Read Literature Like a Professor by Thomas C. Foster: When I saw this in the bookstore it seemed like it'd be hilarious and slightly informative and I was pretty excited to get started. But it quickly revealed itself to be boring and trite and I couldn't wait to put it down. I understand that I'm not the intended audience (I should have read this 20 years ago) but I don't think that is enough to excuse the author's condescending manner and repetitive style of writing. I am sure he is charming in class, but this book was definitely an exercise in masochism to sit down and read for any length of time.

Conrad's Fate by Diana Wynne Jones: One of Jones's themes is the a clueless protagonist who is a little dull and a little stupid, but has a good heart and eventually prevails mostly by being loyal and steadfast and by finding out they have a shitload of magic they had no idea they had. Conrad is no exception, especially with the dull and stupid part, but since this story is written in the first person POV (instead of the third like the others) I got pretty frustrated and restless. It has been a while since I wanted to slap a character in a book but Conrad is #1 on my list. Got a little better at the end, but this will never be my favourite Chrestomanci book.



Re-Reads

The Lives of Christopher Chant by Diana Wynne Jones

Rings of Ice by Piers Anthony

In the Garden of Iden by Kage Baker

Wishbringer by Craig Shaw Gardner

I hope her pussy goes straight to heaven! And I am unanimous in that!





In related news, a woman walks into a bar. She says to the bartender "I'll have a double entendre."

So the bartender gave it to her.

Current Mood: dorky

Anyone want to play Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's Stardust Accelerator with me on the DS? My friend code is 4125-2218-8375

I am enjoying this version pretty well, especially the new synchro and psychic cards. They even have some movie inspired ones that are awesome!




I promise not to destroy your deck and make you cry. Unless your deck is as weak as Craigtastic's.

Current Mood: moody